Dear Warrior,
What will you do when the very thing that gives you the most joy, satisfaction, and confidence is taken away from you?
McKenzie Long once put her identity and hope in being the starting shortstop for the Michigan State softball team. But when an injury threatened to take this away for good, McKenzie wondered who she was and if her life had any purpose if she couldn’t tear up the field with her teammates.
Soon after her freshman year, McKenzie was diagnosed with a severe case of thoracic outlet syndrome, an injury in the shoulder that compresses the nerves of her brachial plexus. Doctors would have to remove one of McKenzie’s ribs, two of her neck muscles, and one of her pectoral muscles. They would then reroute the nerve down her hand in an attempt to get it functioning properly again. Her recovery was long and according to doctors, her chances of returning to the softball field were slim.
Maybe you’ve had something important taken away from you too. Was it an injury? Did you lose a starting position? How did you cope with this?
“Hearing the news of my injury felt so heavy and it was hard to cope with...it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. But now looking back, I see that it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to grow off of the softball field.”
For McKenzie, she needed to find a new place to put her hope. She needed to rewrite the definition of who she was. Being a softball player was everything she had put her hope in and now it was stripped away by this injury. But looking back, McKenzie can say that she is thankful for her injury because it opened her eyes to the truth of who she really was.
Skill #2 - Identity
Who are you, Warrior?
Your identity is made up of all the things that make you, well, YOU! It can be easy to fall into the trap of building our identity on the things that we do rather than on who we are. This is the dangerous mistake that McKenzie, like so many of us, has made.
For McKenzie, her injury gave her the opportunity to press into something that was immovable and firm, her relationship with God. One day she was challenged by a friend who reminded her that God didn’t love her any less whether she played well, played poorly, or if she even played at all. McKenzie began to seek opportunities to grow closer to God. She let the reality of being loved by a God who knows all things set her free from the need to perform well on a softball field.
“The root cause of my struggle was that my identity was in my sport and how well I played rather than being an image-bearer of Christ. I shifted my mindset and realized that softball is not who I am, it’s just what I do. Now I know I am a child of God who plays softball rather than just a softball player who happens to be a Christian.”
This new reality gave McKenzie a new mindset towards her injury and empowered her to lead well and make an impact on her team in spite of her injury. Knowing her worth and purpose didn’t rest on the softball field allowed her to find new confidence and freedom both on the field and off.
“No matter what you’re doing, you deserve to be confident because you have value beyond just being a softball player. That alone can give you the confidence to play in such a way that it doesn’t matter if you go 0-3 or 3-3.”
Warrior, you’re still you regardless of the outcome. You were created on purpose and for a purpose that cannot be taken away by performance, mistakes, or injury. Your value is something that can never be decreased by your circumstances or struggles. You are loved far beyond the things that you do.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by McKenzie Long
About McKenzie Long
McKenzie is a graduate from Michigan State University where she was a four year starting shortstop for the Spartans. She is now the Director of Training at Turnin2 Softball in Brighton, Michigan. She also coaches high school softball and an 18u national team. She is most passionate about being a selfless teammate and empowering those around her to do the same.
“No matter what you’re doing, you deserve to be confident because you have value beyond just being a softball player. That alone can give you the confidence to play in such a way that it doesn’t matter if you go 0-3 or 3-3.”
]]>Dear Warrior,
This week we caught up with the University of Nebraska at Omaha softball player, Allie Helton. Before transferring to the University of Nebraska at Omaha, Allie spent two years at Lake Land College in Illinois where she led her team to two national tournament appearances. Though making the jump from a small school to a large D1 institution can be intimidating, Allie emphasized the importance of never comparing your own story to the story of others.
“Don’t get frustrated if you’re the last to get recruited or if you decide to go to JUCO and someone else is going D1 because of none of that matters. You have to find a place where you’re happy.”
But how did Allie handle the pressure of competing for a starting position and trying to prove herself on the field? How did she refocus after an error or strike out? Allie attributes her confidence in pressure situations to a simple phrase - “Clean Slate”.
Imagine all the happenings of a game or practice written out in detail on a canvas in your mind. Every time a new play develops, a run is scored, an error is made, or something significant happens in the game, the canvas is filled with more information (mostly your feelings towards your performance in that particular game or practice).
After a while, this canvas inside your brain gets cluttered with information and feelings from the past that makes it difficult to focus on the new task in front of you. This is why Allie found it so important to clean the slate between each at-bat and play in the field.
By cleaning the slate in her mind, Allie was allowing herself to move past previous performances and the emotions tied to them. Just as a clean canvas serves as a fresh start for an artist, a clear mind allowed Allie to focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past. In order to clean the slate in her mind and reset for the next play, Allie used the mental skill of routines.
Skill #6 - Routines
Routines give us a sense of comfort because of the physical actions our bodies can follow without thinking. When routines become a habit, they can help to keep us steady even when our circumstances are unexpected or uncontrollable. Allie developed a routine that she did every time she needed to clean the slate in her mind.
“The big thing for me is having a clean slate. When I make an error, I turn around, look in the outfield, and kick a little dirt...I take a deep breath and that’s my reset.”
No matter how you perform in one particular moment, you’ll always be given an opportunity to try again. Make sure you’re ready when that opportunity comes! It does us no good to dwell on our past mistakes, Warrior. Learn from them and then clean the slate in your mind so that you are ready and focused on the next opportunity.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Allie Helton
A Colorado Springs native, Allie plays the infield for the University of Nebraska at Omaha. She is pursuing a degree in multidisciplinary studies with the ultimate goal of becoming a Division 1 softball coach. When asked about her favorite part of softball, Allie described the joy she feels from growing stronger both athletically and personally alongside her teammates.
“Don’t get frustrated if you’re the last to get recruited or if you decide to go to JUCO and someone else is going D1 because of none of that matters. You have to find a place where you’re happy.”
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Dear Warrior,
This week we chatted with Arizona State Softball Alumna, Taylor Becerra, a standout third baseman who’s fierce personality and fearlessness helped her earn 151 hits and 96 runs in her career. But Taylor didn’t always hold this type of reputation and as a young athlete, overcoming the negativity of others was a challenge for her. She recalled that many people discouraged her dreams of playing Division 1 softball because of her size, saying that she was too small.
“I look back and ask myself why I let people get in my head like that. Why did I let people convince me that I wasn’t going to go anywhere special?”
Taylor proved many people wrong when she went on to become a collegiate third baseman. Not only that, but she was also feared by competitors due to her determination to steal the hit and relentless fight to make the next play. Looking back, Taylor wishes she could tell her fourteen-year-old self what she knows now…
“Prove people wrong. Size doesn’t matter. If you trust yourself and you have a great work ethic, you’re going to get to where you want to be.”
Taylor had a stellar career once she got to Arizona State but to everyone’s disbelief, it came to a sudden and heartbreaking end when while rounding first base on a wild throw, Taylor felt a pop and excruciating pain in her knee. She soon learned that she had completely torn her ACL and partially torn her MCL. Her career was over at that moment.
With a new role for the remainder of her senior year, Taylor called to mind the mental skill of Identity just like she had in the face of negativity when she was young.
Skill #2 - Your Identity
Society and external forces try to put us in molds and this can shape our identity without us even realizing it. When others told Taylor that she did not fit the mold of a collegiate athlete, it was important that she didn’t allow this negativity to influence her self-identity. When negativity and doubt entered in, she was faced with the choice to give in or to fight these lies with the truth of who she knew herself to be.
Our true self has nothing to do with our physical attributes or circumstances. Instead, it has everything to do with what we carry inside of us - our passions, gifts, work ethic, values, beliefs, etc. Taylor knew herself; She believed in her work ethic and trusted her abilities as a ballplayer. It didn’t make the negativity around her hurt any less, but she was able to continue on in spite of it and get to where she wanted to be.
The same became true when Taylor experienced her ACL tear. Though her role within her team had changed, it didn’t change who she was. Taylor’s identity as a member of the Arizona State softball team rested more on her character than it did in her ability to play. Even though she could not be on the field, she was still known as a fighter and role model to her teammates.
Loss is hard - whether it’s an injury, loss of a starting position or opportunity, or simply moving onto a new team, it can be painful to have something so important to be taken out of our hands. But even when your circumstances change, remember that you have not lost yourself, Warrior.
Remember who you are when circumstances get challenging or when someone tries to discourage you. The truth is that who you are is never defined by the culmination of your highs and lows. Your identity does not rest on your performance or the things that you do. Go compete fearlessly knowing that if you give it your all you’ll be just fine! No matter what happens, you are still YOU!
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Taylor Becerra
About Taylor Becerra
Born and raised in Whittier, California, Taylor played third base for Arizona State while earning her degree in psychology. When it comes to softball, Taylor is most passionate about having the opportunity to perfect her craft. Playing on a big stage gave her the opportunity to showcase all the hard work that she and her teammates had put in every day leading up to that moment.
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Dear Warrior,
How do you get game day confidence?
This week we chatted with rising junior, Haleigh Hoefs of the University of Nebraska-Kearney. Before beginning her career at UNK, Haleigh spent her freshman year as the starting second baseman for Chadron State University where she became the softball team’s first All-American after finishing the season with a .447 batting average and setting a school record for slugging percentage of .837.
Now known for her contagious energy and confidence, Haleigh told us that this type of confidence hasn’t always come easy for her and there were days when the confidence she exuded was an attempt to overcompensate for the lack of confidence she felt inside.
After doing some research on the mental side of the game, Haleigh realized the importance of mental preparation for sports performance. “I figured out that the best way for me to be prepared for a game and to sell that I was confident was to try to eliminate as many unknown variables as I could.”
She put mental skill #8, Visualization into practice to help her prepare for anything she may face when it came to game day.
Skill #8 - Visualization
“By the time I got to the game, I had already run through every possible scenario in my head...It was hard not to be confident at that point because I had already visualized every success that I could have in that game.”
By learning how to visualize success, Haleigh was preparing her mind, body, and senses to achieve it on game day. No matter what happened on the field, she was able to respond with confidence rather than waste mental energy trying to decide how to handle the situation because she had practiced how she would respond through visualization. Her body and mind already knew what to do.
We all have insecurities, Warrior. In an unpredictable sport like softball, it can be easy to have our confidence shaken by what is going on around us. But confidence can be taught! By practicing the mental skill of visualization, we prepare ourselves not only for the challenges we will face, but for how we will conquer these challenges.
What we’ve seen in our mind’s eye through visualization simply takes another form when it comes to game day. On game day, we see these scenarios with physical eyes but our positive response can be the same as it was when we were visualizing our success.
The game of softball is challenging, but you can prepare for success. Trust your preparation and visualize yourself overcoming the obstacles that meet you on game day.
It takes time to perfect this skill, but soon you’ll be seeing the same success that you saw with your mind’s eye with your physical eye.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Haleigh Hoefs
About Haleigh Hoefs
A Lincoln, Nebraska native, Haleigh studies Industrial Distribution at the University of Nebraska-Kearney where she plays second base for the softball team. She names offense as her favorite part of the game and is passionate about creating meaningful connections with her teammates, coaches, and others who she gets to meet on the field.
“I figured out that the best way for me to be prepared for a game and to sell that I was confident, was to try to eliminate as many unknown variables as I could.”
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Dear Warrior,
Did you catch our Dear Warrior Feature video this week?
We caught up with West Chester University outfielder, Caroline Adams. When the chips didn’t fall in her favor, Caroline had to make the decision of how she would respond.
She put mental skill #2, Your Identity and mental skill #3, Your Why into practice to help her respond to this setback in a way that would ultimately empower her to be the spark plug of her softball team and a well-known leader among her West Chester athletic community.
Skill #2 - Your Identity
“I’m not the starter or the all-American. But why would that make me any less of an important part of the team?”
At first, Caroline was devastated to be losing playing time and opportunities to show the coaching staff her skills. She describes feeling like the world was ending and that she no longer had a place on the team if she was not making an impact on the dirt.
That all changed when her team captain encouraged Caroline to write down the special things that she brought to the team that nobody else could. For example, Caroline is always the loudest athlete to be cheering in the dugout and she always pushes her teammates in the weight room. Without her passion and relentless work ethic, the team would not have a spark plug to keep them fired up in those grueling morning workouts or keep them focused in the dugout.
Caroline realized that the truly irreplaceable traits she brought to her team had nothing to do with what she did, but everything to do with who she was as a teammate and as a person. The same is true for you, Warrior. Softball is a game that you play, but your performance on the field has nothing to do with who you are. The game can be fickle - one day you may go 3-3, and the next weekend you may find yourself on the bench after a poor outing. But none of these lows hold the power to take away the things that truly make you special. Who you are, your identity, is something that you carry inside of you. Your identity cannot be shaken by your circumstances.
What are those special things that make you worth it? Write them down and call them to mind on the days when your performance has you questioning your worth. Like Caroline, you’ll find that you hold to power to change the game and influence others by simply owning who you are.
Skill #3 - Your Why
Let’s be real, the mundane day to day practices and reps that we put into softball aren’t always exciting. Caroline told us that sometimes there are days when softball isn’t fun for her either, especially when it didn’t seem like her hard work was paying off. But she emphasized that finding her why every day helped keep her motivated and engaged even on the hardest and most discouraging days.
For Caroline, her why behind all her hard work and dedication is that she considers her team to be her family. They always have her back, so she is determined to have theirs. When she gets frustrated and starts to lost motivation, Caroline looks to her teammates and is reminded of the reason she loves being a part of the West Chester Softball Program. Her why helps her focus back in and stay on track with being the best teammate and softball player she can be.
Your Why behind what you do will make your actions more impactful. Don’t just go through the motions, find your Why and remind yourself of it when you start feeling discouraged.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Caroline Adams
About Caroline Adams
Caroline graduated in May with a bachelor's degree in history from West Chester University in Pennsylvania and will be returning in the fall to pursue her Master's degree and take advantage of her fifth year of eligibility granted to her as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. She considers her teammates to be the greatest part about being a student-athlete and is eager to stay active in the athletic community after graduation.
"Why is your team better because of you? Everybody has a reason."
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“As soon as I wasn’t able to be on the softball field and produce as a player, all of my self-worth flew out the window...and that’s where my journey with identity started."
Dear Warrior,
If today I were to meet you face-to-face and ask you to describe yourself, what would you say? What’s the first word that comes to your mind when you think of you?
If you asked me the same question when I was your age, I would define myself first as an athlete - a softball player. The same would be true for Becca Blatt, softball team captain and middle infielder for Millersville University in Millersville, Pennsylvania.
Becca told us that for much of her career, she found her identity in her performance on the softball field. Her perceived self-worth rose and fell on whether or not she was able to play softball and if she was performing well on a given day. This was the lens through which Becca saw life until she reached college and for the first time, was forcibly sidelined due to injury.
Her most serious injury came in her sophomore year when she tore a number of ligaments in her ankle that would require surgery to repair. Never having experienced something this serious, Becca described the feelings that came from not being able to do the very thing she got her self-worth from.
“My breaking point was not being able to walk. As a kid, I always prided myself on being tough as nails, and not even being able to walk was the thing that really hit me hard. I fell into a trap of depression and I didn’t open up to the people around me or ask for any help.”
Becca shared about how without a strong support system, she started turning to substances like drugs and alcohol to cope with the mental and physical pain of her injury.
It got to the point where my self-worth was so greatly depleted that I even contemplated taking my own life,” Becca told us. “Up until that point I hadn’t called out to God and said that I was struggling and needed help. I didn’t talk to really anyone else about it either - not my parents, or teammates, or coaches. It was one of those things that I felt I had to deal with myself.”
Becca wrestled with these thoughts for a while until in one of her darkest moments she says she suddenly realized the truth of what God says about her and how He defines her - You have worth. You have a purpose far beyond all this.
With this truth at her core, she began her journey of discovering who she was beyond the softball field. It didn’t happen overnight, but as she learned more about her true worth, Becca found freedom and peace that she had never felt before. Now, she ultimately finds her worth in being a Child of God and knowing that she has been created on purpose and for a purpose that goes far beyond the softball field.
Since her sophomore year, Becca has experienced more lingering injuries that have affected her ability to play the game but she describes these adverse times as much less daunting because she knows that her true identity rests in a love that cannot be taken away.
“That peace is very freeing. In my sophomore year, I felt like the world was on my back. And sometimes I still carry the weight, but definitely not like I used to. I attribute that to the grace of God and finding ways of rooting my identity in Him and how He created me rather than my sport...
I was holding myself back and didn’t even know it. But by going through those things and now letting God hold my softball career in His hands, I feel very free and relaxed. I enjoy the game a lot more with that perspective.”
We asked Becca if any of the negative thoughts still creep into her mind today to which she undoubtedly said yes because we are all human and we all tell ourselves a negative story at times. When these lies creep in, Becca likes to take a deep breath and remind herself of the truth - You are loved. You have a purpose far beyond the field. She also told us about the trigger words she has written on her glove. When she is feeling down on herself, she looks at her glove and is reminded of the truth and it helps bring her back to the present moment.
We all fall down, Warrior. We all battle with negativity and in a world that praises success, it’s easy to get down on ourselves when our reality doesn’t match our expectations. But don’t lose sight of who you are - you are not the culmination of your highs and lows.
Look over at your teammates the next time you are at practice. Is there anyone who looks exactly like you? Anyone who plays exactly like you? Of course not - no two of you are alike and that’s how it should be! There is a mission for you on your team and in life that has been created specifically for you. Nobody can do exactly what you do because there is only one you!
You have a purpose and a story far greater than anything the stats sheet will ever tell. Soak up every moment of the game you love but don’t forget to keep perspective even on the days when you are feeling down. There is more to the story and there is more to you.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Becca Blatt
About Becca Blatt
Becca recently completed her degree in Psychology from Millersville University. She plans to return to Millersville in the fall to pursue a Master's in Athletic Coaching and take advantage of her fifth year of athletic eligibility. Her favorite thing about being a softball player is having the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than herself and her own successes. As a coach, she looks forward to having a positive impact on the next generation of athletes.
"You have worth. You have a purpose far beyond all this."
]]>Dear Warrior,
“It’s hard to go months and months without seeing a breakthrough, but it just takes one moment to realize that all the struggle was worth it.”
This week we caught up with our friend, Josie Baxter. She took us back to her sophomore year of high school when she tore her ACL in a softball game. An ACL tear is considered one of the most challenging injuries to recover from not only because of the physical pain, but because of the mental toll that it takes on an individual.
She told us about the painstaking process of relearning how to walk, then run, and eventually play softball again. Because of the physical trauma caused by the injury, the muscles in Josie’s leg were weakened to the point that she could not walk or even lift her foot off the ground. She told us of the times where she would sit in physical therapy trying to lift her leg off the ground with no success.
“Walking doesn’t seem that hard until you can’t pick up your leg...I got so frustrated with myself because I couldn’t even pick up my foot enough to take another step.”
It took nearly a year until Josie was back on the field competing with her team but she described the feeling that came from hitting the record-breaking home run for her school during her comeback season as surreal and worth it. Looking back, she reflected on how lonely and challenging her recovery was but also of the personal growth that she experienced through it. The thing with hardship, Josie explained, is that “it’s a mental journey that will help you lot and you’ll grow as a person but you often don’t see that until much later.”
Nobody enjoys the fire of adversity, Josie surely didn’t. But now that she has made it through, she can see the personal growth, wisdom, and strength that she has because of her experiences. It was uncomfortable, lonely, and there were days where she felt like the hardship would swallow her up. But she let the struggle make her strong. You can do the same.
We live in a world that seeks comfort and because of this, hardship and adversity may make us feel like we want to run and hide. Many see adversity and loss as a threat, something to be avoided at all costs.
But what if we reframed the way we saw hardship? What if rather than a threat, we saw it as an opportunity to grow?
What if we ran towards the fire of adversity rather than away from it? Knowing that in time, it would refine us and strengthen us as it did for Josie? Just like a lump of coal must be put through the fire before it becomes a diamond, our old ways of thinking and our perceived limits must be challenged so that we can push past them to become fearless.
Don’t run from the hardships that you encounter, Warrior. Success is not measured by how well we avoid adversity, but by how we respond when it does come. At some point or another, we will all walk through the fire. We will all be challenged. We will all be stretched to what feels like our limits. Lean into these moments.
Allow your adversity to challenge you and teach you lessons that you would have learned no other way. Hard is not bad, it is simply a challenge waiting to be conquered.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Josie Baxter
About Josie Baxter
Josie was born and raised in Lincoln, Nebraska. She now attends Morningside College where she plays softball and studies biology and chemistry. Upon graduation, Josie plans to attend school to become a Physician's Assistant. Her favorite part about being a college athlete is having the opportunity to make memories and play with her best friends and teammates.
Allow your adversity to challenge you and teach you lessons that you would have learned no other way. Hard is not bad, it is simply a challenge waiting to be conquered.
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Dear Warrior,
“It doesn’t matter if you have a disability. It doesn’t matter what your situation is. If this is something you want to do, if you’re committed to it, if you’re good at it, your disability won’t matter.”
This week we had the opportunity to sit down with Taylor McQuillin and get her perspective on what it takes to overcome the obstacles in our path and dominate any situation.
When you first hear your story, you might consider Taylor’s biggest adversity to be overcoming Duane Syndrome, but when we sat down to talk with her she said that this is actually far from her biggest struggle as a softball player. Like so many of us, Taylor shared that she too struggled to stay confident in adversity when she was young and the lessons that she has learned since then have helped her to truly walk fearlessly.
She took us back to her freshman year at the University of Arizona and told us how the losses the program faced that year really took a toll on her confidence. “I just remember losing and losing and losing...to come there and struggle with that, it killed my confidence”, Taylor told us. She spent the next summer re-evaluating herself as an athlete and questioning whether or not she was really good enough to play at such a high level.
After much self-reflection in the summer between her freshman and sophomore years, Taylor decided what had to change wasn’t the stage she played on, but how she saw herself within that stage. She wanted to get back to the pitcher she knew she was and commit herself to pursuing excellence in being the best athlete she could be.
You see, nothing in Taylor’s situation changed before she got to this personal turning point. Her team didn’t go on a winning streak that pushed her to be more optimistic and she didn’t pitch a shut out and gain all her confidence back. Truthfully, nothing about Taylor’s circumstances changed overnight. The difference is that Taylor decided that she was the one who needed to change. She needed to change her mindset and her mentality within her situation and eventually, the circumstances would follow.
The truth is that even the most seasoned athletes hit roadblocks. At one point or another, when our circumstances are far from what we had imagined for ourselves, we all have our confidence shaken. Sometimes, like in Taylor’s case, it can feel as though our confidence has been stripped from us altogether. But don’t wait for the circumstances to once again line up before you feel good about yourself. Find a way to flip the switch and take ownership of who you are in spite of what may be going on around you. You may not be able to change your situation right away, but you always have the ability to change your perspective - how you choose to see yourself within that situation.
What’s the story that you tell yourself? Will you believe the lie that you “can’t” and allow the negative situation to tell you who you are? Or will you look at your hardship and smile, with the confidence that comes from knowing that you are strong, capable, and hold the power to thrive even within the most difficult situations?
Through a determination to thrive within it, Taylor took her hardship and used it as fuel towards becoming the best athlete she could be. She went on to become an All - American at Arizona and now plays professionally for the Cleveland Comets where she has been named a Team Mexico Olympic qualifier. When we asked her one of the keys she remembers when the pressure is on and the situation threatens to rock her confidence, she responded with this advice - “Be where your feet are.”
To Taylor, “Be where your feet are” means to stay present in every moment. “Wherever your feet are, that’s where you are. Don’t dwell on the past and don’t worry about the future. Take it one pitch at a time. Take it one batter at a time. Take it one step at a time.” She reminded us that the game is never over until the last pitch. You always have the ability to fight back and come from behind.
The same is true in life. It’s easy to dwell on past mistakes and worry about future circumstances, especially when what is happening in the moment isn’t what you had hoped for. But stay focused on exactly where your feet are, Warrior, and you will find that little by little you are overcoming the challenge that once seemed far too big to overcome.
Girl, you got this!
Team Fearless, inspired by Taylor McQuillin
About Taylor McQuillin
Taylor is an All-American pitcher who played for the Arizona Wildcats softball team. She is currently representing Team Mexico for the (now 2021) Olympics. She also plays for the Cleveland Comets in the NPF and recently signed to play in the new Athletes Unlimited league. Taylor is passionate about growing the game of softball and inspiring other softball players through her story.
“Wherever your feet are, that’s where you are. Don’t dwell on the past and don’t worry about the future. Take it one pitch at a time. Take it one batter at a time. Take it one step at a time.”
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Dear Warrior,
I will always remember March 12, 2020, as one of the hardest days I’ve ever faced as an athlete. I remember sitting in my teammate’s dorm room when all of our phones simultaneously buzzed with a new message from our coach. She explained to us the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic and that the NCAA had made the executive decision to cancel all remaining games and championship competitions for the rest of the academic year. Truthfully, it felt like a bad dream..one of those things that you endure for a few moments and then wake up in relief that none of it was real.
I remember joining one of my senior leaders at a local Starbucks later that afternoon and seeing her cry in disbelief that her career had been cut short on someone else’s terms and for reasons completely out of her control. We had sixteen games under our belt and our season had been off to a strong start. We were ready - all our hard work and hours spent together in the weight room, gym, and field were about to pay off.
For as long as I can remember, I had worked to get to the day when I’d finally wear a college jersey, fight for a spot in postseason play, and experience first hand what life was like as a collegiate athlete. I had worked my entire life for this dream, and here it was, come and gone in one afternoon. I think every softball player in America lost something that day, in one way or another…
I felt frustrated and disappointed by my circumstances in quarantine. But I had a decision to make. I could let my feelings keep me stuck or I could find a way to use them as fuel and make me better. Because I had worked so hard to achieve a dream that looked far different than I expected, I was discouraged by my situation and needed to find a way to mentally pivot so that I could keep pressing forward. I started leaning into the softball and baseball community by following along with other athletes who were training by themselves at home and posting videos. This kept me motivated and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in my feelings or struggles. If they could do it, I could do it. Little by little, I started to chip away at my goals and found creative ways to get better.
Warrior, we all reach points in our careers that discourage us. Whether it’s losing a starting position or a big game, an injury, or falling short of a goal, it’s okay to feel all the emotions that come along with the disappointment. Feel them, acknowledge them, but don’t let the feelings take over. Take a step back, re-center, and pivot!
Disappointment may feel like the end of the world, but that’s the furthest thing from the truth. There will be opportunities to try again, more nail-biting competitions, and many more opportunities to take part in this game that we love. Don’t stay stuck in the disappointment so much that you forget to prepare for the next great thing coming your way. Learn to work while you wait. Even when one door closes, another one will be opening right around the corner and you want to be ready for it!
You’ll face hard things, every great athlete does. But none of these things will have the power to dictate your story. You are not defined by your circumstances because you are strong and have the ability to pivot. Ask for help. Get creative. Keep trying new things. Stay true to yourself and your why. One day you will look back and admire your story, not because it was perfect but because you were determined, resilient, and always found a way to keep moving forward.
Rooting for you,
Diane
DIANE TORREGROSSA
Diane is a rising sophomore at the University of the Sciences in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She plays the corners for the Devils and is studying Pharmacy with the goal of one day working in a hospital. When it comes to softball, her number one goal is to help her team be their best both on and off the field.
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Dear Warrior,
Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?
Growing up, I was a goofy little kid. As everyone else was getting bigger and stronger, I felt like I stuck out for how little I was. My teammates used to tell me that I was weak and I struggled to believe in my abilities. At the time, the words of others affected my confidence on the field, but I learned to use them as motivation instead of letting them tear me down. Once I learned this lesson, there was no stopping me.
In seventh grade, I switched to slap-hitting. I was so upset by this because I believed that the reason I had to switch was because I wasn’t as good as my teammates. I remember crying to my mom after my first hitting lesson as a slapper and saying that I was never going to be able to hit a homerun.
After some time and a lot of practicing, It turned out that switching to the left side was one of the best decisions my coaches and I could have ever made! Although hitting a homerun was important to me, it was better for my team that I switch to the left side.
I put hours of work into my skills in slapping because I wanted to prove to my teammates and coaches that I was there to get better and wasn’t going to settle with doing the minimum. Soon, I started getting on base more. I started small with bunting and placement slapping in the infield, but everything changed for me when I learned how to power slap.
It didn’t come easy, though. I started lifting weights to get stronger and went to hit multiple times a week. My friends and I kept each other accountable and would often throw front toss to each other outside of our regularly scheduled practice time. Once I started seeing progress in my hitting and my mental game, I was addicted to getting better at the sport I loved and decided I wanted to play softball in college.
During my senior year of high school, I committed to the University of Nebraska at Kearney. When I got on campus, I was overwhelmed with how tightly knit the team already was. I put a lot of pressure on myself to prove to my teammates and coaches that I could earn a spot. It was the first time in years that I had felt that much pressure to perform. Fast forward to our first game and I was the only freshman starter and was the lead-off batter. Talk about pressure!
Can you guess what I did?
- I struck out!
The next at-bat?
- I struck out again!
Third times a charm, right?
- Nope. I struck out a third time!
Later in the season, I was asked in an interview what had happened in that first game. I told them that in those first three at-bats, I had lost confidence in myself and had forgotten all the hard work I’d put in all year long to get me to that point. I learned an important lesson, though. I learned how important it was to trust myself and all my hard work. As I worked on this confidence, it got me into a better headspace and I felt ready to go up to bat again!
The truth is, softball takes a lot of skill. Confidence was something I learned to develop over time and is something I continuously have to keep in check. The same is true for the physical aspects of the game; I have to put work into maintaining and further improving my skills.
You can achieve any goal that you have, but it won’t just fall into your lap. It’s going to require a lot of hard work, dedication, and persistence. Let the extra reps and hard work build your confidence. When game time comes you can look back on all your preparation and gain confidence from it. Let the memory of your hard work remind you that you are capable, strong, and prepared.
I know what it feels like to think you’re not good enough. I was the little girl on the team that batted last and didn’t play on Sunday during bracket play. But you don’t have to stay stuck in those feelings. Do something about it and over time, things will start to fall in place. You’ll gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Through your hard work and confidence, you can empower others to do the same. Your confidence will shine through you and the difference will be noticed not only by you but by everyone around you as well!
Trust the process,
Carlee Liesch
CARLEE LIESCH
Carlee is a junior at the University of Nebraska at Kearney where she studies Industrial Distribution and is a member of the varsity softball team. Carlee treasures the small details of the game like the feeling of the laces between her fingertips and the sound of the ball popping off the sweet spot of the bat. These little things and the memories she makes with her teammates are the parts of softball that she holds closest to her heart.
Dear Warrior,
The world is big, but you are powerful.
Early in my collegiate career, I was given the opportunity to hold a leadership position on my team. Though I was honored to fill that role, I often felt out of place when attempting to lead my team, especially with my voice. I worried that my thoughts and opinions would not be well received by my older teammates and that others would view me as naive or immature when I tried to speak out.
Some told me that I was too young to be a leader and that I simply “could not understand”. But I am grateful to have had others who encouraged me to keep using my voice while also showing me how to have meaningful conversations with those who brought a different perspective.
Over time, I learned to have rich conversations with teammates who brought a different perspective to the situation based on their own experiences. These conversations empowered us all to share our stories with each other and create meaningful solutions that would propel our team forward with love and understanding, rather than division.
Right now, if you are a young white person, you might be hearing for the first time vastly different perspectives on the role of race in our country. If you are a young person of color, you might be trying to communicate how your experience with race has always been, in some way or another, different and more difficult from that of your white peers. In the wake of police brutality, a sad reality about America is coming to the surface. Our history isn’t as gleaming and triumphant as we’d like to believe. Instead, woven throughout it is the oppression of minority groups.
Right now, Black Lives Matter is turning our eyes towards the oppression of Black people and we are finally looking, however overdue the attention may be. It’s painful and troubling to recognize, but would be incomparably more painful to experience firsthand.
As a member of the white community, I’m coming to terms with the fact that I haven’t been aware of the struggles that many others around me have been facing simply because of the color of their skin. I’ve thought back to my experiences as a newly appointed leader on my softball team and have once again, found myself feeling small, overwhelmed, and intimidated by the problems that our world is facing. Maybe you have felt the same…
The world is a big place, Warrior. But the truth is that you have been put here on purpose and for a purpose. Your voice is a powerful thing. Though you may not feel strong or fearless, you hold the power to stand up for what is right and speak the truth in love. No matter how big or small your audience, you can lead others and inspire change.
I’ve learned that standing up for what is right has a sort of domino effect. Maybe that one conversation you have with a friend sparks them to have another. The next person is inspired to do the same and before you know it, that one little conversation has sparked hundreds more like it!
If you don’t know what to say, listen. It’s okay to not have all the answers. There is power in taking the time to learn and broaden our understanding. Before we can speak the truth, we must learn what the truth is. Because our world is so big, there are a lot of different voices coming at us from all directions. It can be hard to uncover what is really true and right. This is why it's so important to ask good questions and take the time to hear people’s stories from their lived experiences. The most impactful leaders are the ones who can also follow by asking for help and guidance.
Do not let the world look down on you because you are young, Warrior. Your voice is a powerful thing. Your thoughts deserve a space to be shared and your questions deserve to be answered. Keep seeking the truth and allow yourself the freedom to not have all the answers. Keep learning, growing, and leaning into what is right.
We Grow Together,
TEAM FEARLESS
Team Fearless is committed to growing in our understanding of social injustice in America and using our platform to speak out and be an ally for our brothers and sisters in the black community through conversations and continued education on social justice issues. In solidarity with those demanding justice, Team Fearless has donated to the Equal Justice Initiative.
"No matter how big or small your audience, you can lead others and inspire change."
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Dear Warrior,
Softball will be the love of your life and your safest space, but it will also expose the cracks in your armor and there will be times when it leaves you with an aching heart. Throughout your career, you will experience liberating and amazing moments that will leave you with strong feelings of pride and joy. But when the tough times hit, you will also experience equally strong emotions that aren’t as enjoyable. It is the ying and the yang of this beautiful game we play. During the highest of highs and lowest of lows, you need to remember one thing….
Who you are is not what you do on the field. The results of this game do not define you. Your worth does not lie in numbers; No batting average is a reflection of who you are at your core. Your strength is not defined by how many home runs you’ve hit or your fielding percentage. The greatest players in this game succeed 4 times out of 10. As young players, we hear the redundant statement, “it’s a game of failure”. If we know this to be true, why do we think it's okay to put our worth in the results of this sport?
Change your perspective and let the game mold you but never let it define you. You are great. You are brilliant. Who you are is reflected in how you treat your teammates, how you bounce back from the trials and tribulations, how quickly you can recover from a failure, and your willingness to grow and evolve after you fall.
At the end of the day, your teammates, coaches, family, and peers will not remember your statistics, the plays you made, or the hits you had. They won't remember who started every game and who played the best on a given day. They will remember how you played the game - your grit, your poise, and the fire and personality you brought to the game. They will remember what kind of teammate you were. They’ll remember if you said “please and thank you”, how treated your mom and dad, and how kind you were. Though you may not believe this now, when your career is over and you look back on your playing days, you won’t remember most of the details of the games either.
But you will, without a doubt, remember your best friends and the way you felt after a great play. You’ll remember the sound of your teammates and fans cheering during a close game. You’ll remember the feeling of having dirt in your hands and the relief of taking your cleats off after a 10 hour day on the ball field. You’ll remember the feeling of sore cheeks from that big smile you wore after watching a teammate do something great. You’ll remember the high fives and the dog piles. You’ll look back and laugh at the inside jokes you had with your teammates while at practice and in the dugout.
Take these moments and shine light on them. Hold them close. Give thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel and also for the darkness you experience while traveling through it. It has made you stronger. Who you are is not dependent on whether you go 0-4 or 4-4 in a game.
There will be tough games as well as moments that make you feel like you could take over the world. Love yourself through both. Regardless of what the scoreboard reads, be proud of who you are. Because nothing and no one can take that away from you.
Be YOU,
Bella
BELLA NORTON
A Virginia native, Bella has spent her undergraduate career studying sports media and catching for Indiana University. She will be returning to IU in the fall to pursue a Master's in school counseling and will be using her fifth year of NCAA eligibility that was granted to her as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Bella plans to coach in the future so that she can change softball on the East Coast and empower young girls to become strong women.
"Who you are is not what you do on the field. The results of this game do not define you."
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Dear Warrior,
Sometimes you will pop up to the catcher.
Sometimes you will strike out looking.
Sometimes you will make an error that isn’t representative of the player you are.
Sometimes you will fall into the trap of anxiety and fear.
Sometimes things won’t go your way and you will have those days.
Sometimes you will make the game-winning play.
Sometimes you will adjust perfectly in the next at-bat.
Sometimes you will hit that pitch you’ve been working on for weeks.
Sometimes you will jump uncontrollably with your teammates after a big win.
The game of softball gives failure, grit, and painful criticism. She will never lie to you. But she will always support you, validate the hard work you’ve done behind closed doors, and give you hope in hard times. She will give you a loving community and hold your hand when you feel like the world is crashing down on you.
She is one of the greatest friends you’ll ever have because she will help you grow in ways other people cannot. She loves you through the strikeouts, errors, singles up the middle, and game-winning slides. She loves your teammates, your coaches, and even the umpires.
Softball shows up every day and says that anything can happen to any player/team on any day. She promises to give you a certain amount of innings, an estimated number of pitches, and at-bats. But she doesn’t promise outcomes or performances. She leaves that up to you. You have the control in your hands, your glove, and your bat.
Always remember that you will evolve. You will change and you will grow. This will happen on and off the field as you excel in softball and in life. As you continue on your journey, many things will change but softball will always remain the same. She will never leave you. Even when the clock counting your playing time runs out, softball will be there to hold your hand.
She will never give up on you. Even when you’re frustrated with her and want to give up, she will be there with open arms because she understands you better than anyone. She knows your grit, your passion, and your drive. She knows what you are made of.
So work hard. Play hard. Laugh hard. Go the extra mile. Be proud of who you are today and look forward to the person and player you will grow to be tomorrow. Work hard and make yourself proud.
Appreciate the tough losses, earth-shattering errors, and unbelievably long slumps. You will be better for them. Keep crawling, walking, jogging, sprinting, and whatever you need to do to keep moving forward. Dream big and work hard to become the woman you want to be. Softball will help you get there. Some days you may feel like the underdog, but keep working hard because the game you play is an underdog herself. She will never give up on you and will always be in your corner.
Keep it real,
Kendall #3
KENDALL BURTON
Kendall is a graduate of the University of Georgia. She now lives back in her hometown, Houston, TX, and is pursuing her dream of being an author and motivational speaker. After undergoing 23 surgeries by the age of 17, surviving a stroke at 18, transferring schools, and fighting to defy the odds of her medical diagnosis, Kendall has been given to a unique outlook on life and what it means to persevere through adversity.
"Dream big and work hard to become the woman you want to be. Softball will help you get there."
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Dear Warrior,
Life has an interesting way of teaching you the most impactful lessons through setbacks. Whether we’re competing with a teammate for a position on the field, trying to pass a team fitness test, learning a new skill, or working through an injury, ultimately we’re being challenged to step up and be better than we were before.
After my freshman year of college, I found out that I had torn my labrum in my hip. Once I met with my surgeon, I learned that I also had something called FAI. Basically, my hip was shaped abnormally and had bone spurs that restricted movement. This explained all the pain I experienced while playing softball. The best way to solve this was surgery. After consulting with my surgeon, I decided to put off surgery until the end of my sophomore season.
That spring was one of the toughest seasons I’ve ever had. I was in the training room every day trying different things to relieve the pain. I’ll never forget how it felt losing the MAC Commonwealth Championship that season. I had spent all year focusing on finding a way to play the game I loved and now that the season was over, the fear of surgery and the unknown set in.
A few weeks after our season ended, I had surgery to finally repair my torn labrum. The rehab process was one of the most difficult, but humbling experiences of my life. The pain and discomfort I felt trying to regain my range of motion was indescribable. I pushed myself hard, but felt like I was going nowhere. It was the longest 6 months of my life. Being without softball changed my perspective, and it has continued to do so to this day.
I had always struggled to differentiate between myself as an athlete and my identity as a person. Having softball taken away really helped me separate the two. Through the struggle of rehab and trying to find my true identity, I was able to lean into my faith more than ever. I’ve always heard friends say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but I think that sometimes He does. He may give us more than we can handle so that we find Him and place our trust in Him rather ourselves. God is greater than the hills and valleys of life and this painful experience brought me to a new place of surrender and trust in His plan for me rather than my own.
Like many athletes, I sometimes find myself taking the opportunity to lace up my cleats and play for granted. As I went through the rehab process, I realized how much I truly missed the game. I realized that God could take it away from me, just like that, and I had my priorities mixed up. I had wanted to win the championship that year so badly, and quite honestly, for selfish reasons. It’s okay to want something for you, but it’s so much more empowering to want something for the girls standing to your right and your left. My motivation every day of rehab was envisioning wearing those championship rings with my teammates.
I can say with full confidence that, looking back at everything, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. The next season, our team walked away with the first MAC Commonwealth championship in program history and went to the NCAA tournament for the first time.
That recovery process from surgery changed the way I look at the game. For a long time I felt sad, angry, and discouraged about my situation. It's okay to feel this way and it’s important to acknowledge these emotions. But there came a time when I decided it was time to flip the switch. Flip the narrative and look at the situation from a different perspective. What could I learn from my situation? What was it trying to teach me? How can I come out better on the other side? You can ask yourself the same questions...
If you look hard enough, there’s always a positive lesson that can be drawn from a negative situation. If we let them, these negative experiences can be used to make us stronger, wiser, and better people. Through my experience, I have learned to never take softball for granted because the next game, inning, practice, or season is never promised. Life does not always turn out the way we imagined, but there is always something positive that can be taken out of even the hardest and most confusing seasons of life.
Work hard and don’t give up when you're walking through one of life's valleys. You never know the light that could be waiting for you just around the corner if you keep climbing!
Stay the course,
Mary
MARY MURRAY
A recent graduate from Arcadia University, Mary studied global media and pitched for the Arcadia Knights. In her junior season, Mary helped lead the Knights to their first MAC Commonwealth title in history as well as their first NCAA tournament appearance. Mary is also a member of the Great Britain Under-22 National Team and has studied abroad in Australia and England. In her free time, Mary enjoys hiking, traveling, and writing. She hopes to one day be an Athletic Communications Assistant for an NCAA school so that she can encourage and motivate the next generation of student-athletes in their journey.
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Dear Warrior,
When it’s all said and done, your softball journey will be nothing short of an adventure. I hope that as you play this game, you experience the freedom that comes from taking ownership of your journey and that you don’t allow the opinions of others or the uncertainty of this game define you. Instead, I hope you enjoy the journey that has made you who you are today.
This sport isn’t always glamorous. It’s hardly ever fair. Maybe there have been experiences that you can’t yet make sense of and some that you would rather forget altogether. There will be moments when you feel like you’re on top of the world and others when your aching muscles and tired mind may cause you to question if the journey is worth it at all. But I promise you that you are not defined by the culmination of your highs and lows. No matter what the scoreboard says, the truth is that you were created on purpose and for a purpose.
I hope that every day you step out on the field you take proud ownership of who you are rather than just how you perform. Did you encourage a teammate today? Be proud of that. Did you respect your coaches? Be proud of that. Did you give your best even when you were tired? Be proud because your worth was never defined by how you perform and at the end of the day, what really matters is who you are, not what you do.
We play a numbers game. One day you may go 3-3 with a defensive play that deserves an ESPN top 10 ranking and the next you may be on the bench. There’s just no telling what may come and one pitch can change everything. I used to ride the highs and lows of this game (some days I still do). But the thing I’ve learned over the years is that none of these things can define me and they can’t define you either. The athlete you've become does not rise and fall based on this game.
Who you are is something that you carry inside you. You are strong because you have experienced hardship and brave because you learned to never back down. Your mountaintop moments have taught you humility and your dedication to the game has infused you with confidence.
Remember who you are. Your story is not defined by one chapter or by anyone who crosses your path. You were created on purpose and for a purpose. One day you’ll look back and see how every chapter of your journey, even the ones you would rather forget have worked together to bring you somewhere beautiful. Your worth was never defined by the ups and downs of the journey. You are your process. You are important and you are loved.
In your corner,
Bekah
BEKAH GOOD
A Delaware native, Bekah Good studies psychology and plays softball at Arcadia University. In her free time she loves to go for runs along the Delaware Riverfront and be with her family. After graduation, she is most excited to begin her graduate education in counseling and compete in triathlons with her dad.
]]>"One day you’ll look back and see how every chapter of your journey, even the ones you would rather forget have worked together to bring you somewhere beautiful."
Dear Warrior,
You are exactly where you are supposed to be! Even after three years of playing college softball, I still have to remind myself of this. My home is about forty-minutes from the University of Maryland and growing up I was surrounded by all things UMD. I went to camps and games, emailed their coaches, and followed just about every player on Instagram. It wasn’t long before I knew I wanted to be a Terp.
I felt like a little fish in the world's largest pond when I entered UMD as a freshman. I had always been the best on previous teams but I quickly learned that the same was true for all of my new teammates. Being what my coach loved to call a “backyard kid”, I was shell-shocked to suddenly be facing SEC pitchers. I did well and with my success came more opportunities to help my team by earning a spot in the lineup.
Knowing the reputations and accomplishments of my teammates, this little voice in my head started to tell me that I was just lucky. I started to believe that I was just lucky to be getting hits, lucky to be in the lineup, lucky to be on the team. Lucky, as if I hadn’t worked hard for years to represent my state at the highest level. Lucky, as if being from Maryland meant I was inherently less than my teammates from other places. It was like my own brain was working against me and there were moments where I believed the little voice telling me I had bitten off more than I could chew.
Over time, I’ve learned that comparison is the thief of joy. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. To be successful at the collegiate level (or any level for that matter), you have to run YOUR race. The only person you should try to outperform is the person you were yesterday. As long as you are doing the best you can do, the rest will take care of itself. Coaches are hired to win. If a coach wants you on their team it is because they believe you will help them win. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will start every game or hit .500. But those aren't the only ways you can help your team. You can help your team by picking a change-up, stealing second as a pinch-runner, or by being a good vibe in the dugout. There is no role too big or too small.
After a lot of reflection, I realized that the universe doesn’t make mistakes. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your reason for being may be very different from someone else’s and you aren’t doing yourself any favors wishing you were them. Trust yourself and don’t take the game too seriously. Play carefree and enjoy every moment. It’s the same game you’ve been playing since you were a little girl with bright eyes and big dreams.
I’ve experienced many highs and lows throughout my softball journey, but I am thankful for the lessons softball has taught me about life and myself along the way. I have learned that I am stronger than the little voices in my head. I am more than enough and so are you! You are electric, evolving, and exactly where you are supposed to be.
Have fun, be a good human, and enjoy the ride,
Taylor
TAYLOR WILSON
Born and raised in Clinton, Maryland, Taylor Wilson is a kinesiology student and softball player at the University of Maryland. She is very passionate about access and inclusion in sports and looks forward to pursuing a master's degree in sports management after her graduation from the University of Maryland.
"The only person you should try to outperform is the person you were the day before. As long as you are doing the best you can do, the rest will take care of itself."
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Dear Warrior,
You chose to play the greatest game in the world. Hold it in your hands delicately. You may not know it yet, but the way you live your life on that field is a whole lot like how you’ll show up in the real world one day and here’s why..
When you’re nervous before a big at-bat, trust me, those butterflies will come back around in the future. As long as you’re always challenging yourself, the nerves will be there. But our favorite game teaches us how to embrace those nerves and use them to our advantage. Let the nerves fuel you.
When you’re excited for your teammate who made a play worthy of the SC Top Ten, never lose that. This kind of selfless excitement is something a lot of people forget when they get older. Never lose the pure joy that you feel from someone else’s success. It’s a beautiful thing.
When you lose a close game and think the world is ending…it’s not. It may feel that way at the time, but that loss could be exactly what you needed. If you take the loss, analyze it, learn what made it happen, and work on correcting each physical and mental mistake, GOOD NEWS! You’ll never lose that way again. That loss made you smarter.
When you succeed in ways you never thought were possible and find the success you were always after, you deserve to celebrate it! Don’t forget to also celebrate and acknowledge every single person who helped you get there...
I hope, more than anything, you understand the importance of thanking those who helped you achieve your goals. It was an absolute team effort and even though most of these will never want any of the credit, they deserve it. As long as you keep these people close, it will never be “lonely at the top” once you get there.
Lastly, strive to be the athlete your future self will be proud of. The decisions you make now will determine how fast you achieve all those big, bold, audacious dreams of yours. Some decisions may be tough at the time, but it's important to understand that they are exactly what is needed to have the future you’ve always dreamed about. Do everything with your whole heart and you’ll never regret it.
Wishing you all the success in the world,
Ashley
ASHLEY BURKHARDT
A former collegiate and professional softball player, Ashley is a softball entrepreneur who has dedicated her work to helping athletes find their inner greatness while pursuing their dreams and goals. Everything Ashley teaches is based off of her own experiences and failures in hopes of reminding athletes that these experiences are the very things that have helped her become a better version of herself every time she stepped on the field.
"Strive to be the athlete your future self will be proud of.Do everything with your whole heart and you’ll never regret it."
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Dear Warrior,
Growing up, I was known as the hustler and the go-getter. You might be too...
I wore that "title" like a badge of honor throughout college. I actually prided myself on my ability to push through adversity and “just keep going”. Because of this, I’ve always been self-motivated and found it easy to set goals and persist along the journey to achieving them.
This strategy in its purest form certainly isn’t a negative thing. It’s great to be self-motivated and determined. I believe that this sort of work ethic has been a critical ingredient in helping me achieve my goal of collegiate softball. But it wasn’t until years into my softball journey that I realized I was missing a few other vital ingredients.
For a long time, I considered setbacks and adversity to be my greatest opportunities to PROVE what I was really made of. I’d imagine myself standing at the bottom of a steep mountain with my eyes fixed on the highest peak. I couldn’t wait to get climbing and see how far I could go and how strong I could become in the process.
For the most part, this was true. The further I climbed, the stronger I became. The more adversity I faced head-on, the more prepared I was to tackle the next obstacle. The same will be true for you as you continue your journey with softball, academics, and any other pursuits that you may embark on!
But I had forgotten about one of the most important ingredients to have on any long journey.
This ingredient was my support system. I became so consumed with my goals but I never stopped to look around at those around me - my family, friends, teammates, coaches. Loved ones who wanted to help, support, and love me along the way. As I continued to climb further up my mountain, I started to feel lonely as I began to face new challenges I didn’t know how to handle. I needed help but was too afraid to ask. For so long, I held the belief that I HAD to do it all by myself.
I truly believe that sports can be a great avenue to teach us mental toughness. They teach us how to be strong in the face of adversity and to push past the perceived limits of our mind and body. I think this can be a double-edged sword; sometimes the sports industry takes this concept a little bit too far.
It may lead us to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. This was the trap I fell into. I believed the lie that asking for help meant that I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to prove to everybody how tough I was and felt like I was failing if I asked for help. But this mindset is the furthest thing from the truth. Now, I’m here to tell you the truth behind this hard lesson that I learned while climbing my mountain.
The truth is that you don’t have to do this all by yourself and mental toughness does not give you immunity to struggles. As you continue your journey as a softball player and a person, you’re going to be confronted with hard things. They may be new challenges that you don’t have a clue how to handle. That’s okay - it means you’re about to grow!
When hard things happen, don’t feel like you have to face them all by yourself. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the freedom to not have all the answers! You can turn to those around you for help and support. Let them love you and join you on this journey that you have embarked on.
If you take a step back and look around, you’ll be surprised at how many people really are in your corner and want to love you along your way.
The truth is that asking for help and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is one of the bravest things we can do. I’ve found that when I open up and let others join me on the journey, I have more joy and peace in the midst of even the hardest adversity because I don’t feel like I have to face it all alone. Letting others into our story doesn’t always guarantee that the hard things go away, but it certainly helps to lighten our load.
Let them help you. Your voice and your story are important and you deserve to be heard.
You are loved,
Bekah
BEKAH GOOD
A Delaware native, Bekah Good studies psychology and plays softball at Arcadia University. In her free time, she loves to go for runs along the Delaware Riverfront and be with her family. After graduation, she is most excited to begin her graduate education in counseling and compete in triathlons with her dad.
]]>"...you don’t have to do this all by yourself and mental toughness does not give you immunity to struggles...asking for help and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is one of the bravest things we can do."
Dear Warrior,
For the longest time, I have used the game of softball as my escape from reality. It taught me how to be in the moment, something that I have always struggled with. Growing up, my family faced challenges such as divorce, addiction, neglect, unemployment and uncertainty. These hardships throughout my adolescence made for a very dark time. My favorite thing to do in those tough times was to get dropped off at the field, lace up my cleats, throw my hair back into a ponytail, and just go play the game I know and love.
I knew I wanted to play college softball when I was 12 years old watching the World Series. UCLA had just beaten Arizona and I got to watch the game live at the stadium while traveling to play. To this day, it is still one of the most magical moments I can recall. Not only did I want to play in college, I wanted to go big or go home. I aimed to play in the Pac 12.
My recruiting process wasn’t easy. It was a time where my self worth and my confidence were tested in every way. With many coaches and my own family doubtful of my success and pushing me to my breaking point, I constantly was feeling the pressure of not being good enough. With grit, perseverance, and the refusal to give up, I committed to the University of Utah as a recruited walk on. It was in my junior year that I earned a full-ride scholarship. Because I hold dual citizenship, I was also able to try out and play for the Great Britain Women’s National team. At just 20 years old, I would play a season with Utah Softball, then travel the globe to play the best softball players in the world from countries like Japan, Canada, Australia, and Italy. After playing the game of softball on so many different levels, two very simple things stood out to me that I now try to ingrain into my players’ minds as a hitting coach.
Firstly, always remember that the game never changes. Keep it simple. You’re still throwing the same size ball you were playing with when you were 12. The base paths are still 60 feet long. The home plate is still 17 inches wide. The only thing that does change is you, your mindset, and your abilities. Always trust in what you know. Trust those hours of practice you put in, those thousands of reps you took. Trust the mechanics. Trust yourself. The moment you forget to do this is the moment this game will beat you. That is the beauty of softball.
Secondly, always be your own biggest fan. I find it extremely hard to find my self worth at times. I have to see my success to believe it. But I’m also a dreamer. I was always shooting for the stars; trying to reach goals that many coaches didn’t think I had the capability of reaching. When you’re a dreamer, you have to believe in yourself twice as much. Believe in yourself so much that the doubters and haters won’t even phase you. Growing up, my hitting coach always said “Don’t play to prove the haters wrong; play to prove not only yourself, but the ones who believe in you right.”
I wouldn’t change a single thing about my journey and my relationship with softball. It has and always will be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I hope my story has influenced you to always believe in yourself and your abilities and encouraged you to just go play the game, plain and simple.
Always in your Corner,
Aubrey
AUBREY PETERSON
Based in Salt Lake City, Aubrey is a hitting instructor and head coach of Nation Fastpitch 12U. Aubrey loves to give back the game in any way she can. Her goal is to make her players well rounded by focusing on the physical, emotional, and mental skills of an athlete. She also holds two degrees in Psychology & Human Development and specializes in early childhood development.
]]>"Always be your own biggest fan."
Dear Warrior,
When you practice the same sport every day, sometimes it can feel like running in place. The skills you have today aren’t going to be all that much better than the ones you had yesterday, but you’re always aiming for a little more—“Get 1% better,” as my pitching coach likes to remind me. So, when I returned to campus this January and my head coach me asked how my training went over winter break, I told him something like, “It was good… not every day was perfect, but it was good.”
That’s a pretty safe answer. I metaphorically covered all my bases, letting him know that he could expect improvement from me at practice the next day, while also hinting that I very well may need to be coached up in the same areas that I have been working on for months. The aspect of my game that has consistently needed the most coaching is mental—I’ve struggled with performance anxiety for over a year now, and despite the time, energy, and effort I have put into overcoming this beast of a challenge, sometimes I slip back into a place of fear and let it cripple me.
The best summary I can offer about my time spent trying to overcome anxiety is that not every day has been perfect. But it’s been good.
By the time my coach was checking in on me, the rest of my team had cleared out of the conference room. So, he took a moment to explain an analogy for success and growth to me. He picked up a marker and drew a straight line going up from left to right on the white board beside me.
“When I drive from Louisiana to Maryland, I’m going north,” he said. “If you look at the trip on a map from far away, it looks like my car is always headed up.”
I nodded along in agreement. Then he drew another line that was far more crooked and curving than the first.
“But, if you zoom in on the route, you’ll soon realize I was certainly not always traveling north. Sometimes I went straight east, sometimes I even drove south for a while to get around a city or a mountain,” he said, while pointing to a sharp turn in the line with the marker.
Improving in any sport is a lot like driving from Louisiana to Maryland. From an outsider's perspective, it may look like you were only ever headed up, but the reality of the process is that it’s a lot more complicated than that moment-to-moment. Sometimes it feels like you’re not getting better, or headed north, at all. It’s the times when I miss my spots and give up hits or my thoughts are clouded with negativity or doubt that I realize what I need to work on the most. Despite how much it sucks to fail, those days teach me arguably more than perfectly successful outings. And after times like that, it’s difficult but wise to remember the bigger picture. I’m headed up, no matter how curvy the road. If I just keep moving, I’ll arrive.
Walking each other home,
Amelia
AMELIA JARECKE
Amelia Jarecke is a journalism student and softball player at the University of Maryland from Lincoln, Nebraska. She loves reading and hearing stories about adventures and is often trying to create her own.
]]>"...no matter how curvy the road. If I just keep moving, I’ll arrive."
Dear Warrior,
When a coach, parent, or another player asks you what you want to improve on, what is your response? Is it something like, “I want to increase the movement on my pitches” or “I want to cut down my home to first time?” It doesn’t matter in what sport this question is asked, the answer to it almost always has to do with developing something physically. While the physical part of the game is definitely important, the mental aspect is what sets great athletes apart from average athletes.
My junior year of high school, I felt as though I’d reached a point where I was at the peak of my physical game. It was my second year as the starting varsity pitcher, my movement was great, and I had increased my velocity. That year our season had a sour ending. Once it was over, I decided to do some reflecting. I knew I did everything I possibly could to help my team physically, but for some reason, I still felt like I could have been better.
That offseason I decided to focus on something other than just my pitching workouts. One day when I was really struggling and felt like I couldn’t throw a strike to save my life, my dad told me, “remember that 90% of this game is mental and not every day is going to be your day.” He had said this phrase to me countless times before, but I feel like that day was the first time I ever truly understood the meaning and importance of it.
Through my journey, I have found that there are three key areas to developing a strong mental game. The first is to control your emotions. Another way I describe controlling your emotions is to develop a poker face. Things could be going poorly or they could be going well, but no one should ever be able to tell which one it is by simply looking at your face. If your opponent can tell that you are shaken, you are already giving them an advantage. You can take control by remaining calm and collected in every situation.
Another key aspect of being a mentally strong player is developing confidence. In order to grow and better yourself as a player, you have to believe in yourself. Fill your mind with positive thoughts and encouragement and know that you can do anything you set your mind to.
The final aspect of developing a strong mental game is to focus on the present. That means you have to have a short-term memory when it comes to mistakes. Don’t dwell on mistakes, whether it was you or a teammate who made one. It’s a part of the game and they’re going to happen. You can’t change the past, but you can choose to learn and grow from your mistakes to better yourself for the future. Focusing on the present also means taking it pitch by pitch. Give your full attention to every moment of the game.
If you learn to control your emotions, develop confidence, and focus on the present, then you will be unstoppable. I cannot wait to watch your success unfold for you.
Enjoy every moment,
Kennedi
KENNEDI CLAYCOMB
Kennedi Claycomb is finishing up her senior year at Waverly High School and is from Eagle, Nebraska. She will be attending Buena Vista University in the fall to continue her softball career and study biochemistry and minor in Spanish. She loves spending time with friends and family, playing tennis, and trying new things.
]]>"You can’t change the past, but you can choose to learn and grow from your mistakes to better yourself for the future."
Dear Warrior,
To be completely honest, I’ve never been a huge fan of New Years. Until recently though, I never really knew why I disliked the holiday so much. Instead of being excited and wanting to celebrate with my friends and family, for a long time I felt a sense of dread and even got anxious as New Years rolled around. The reality of my struggle was that I always put such high expectations on the new year. I’d spend the days leading up to January 1st picking out all the things I thought needed to be changed inside and around me. I felt huge pressure to make and uphold all sorts of New Year’s resolutions in order to become the best version of myself. Don’t get me wrong, resolutions are great, the new year can be a great time of reflection, goal setting, and dreaming of the future. But when you have a laundry list of personal “to do’s” like I did, it can be enough to make anyone anxious!
Looking back, I think I was missing the point for all those years. Since then, I’ve learned that the new year can be a great time to reset and regroup but we aren’t limited to just one day to do this. I used to think that when I woke up on January 1st, I had one opportunity to make a resolution and execute it. The reality is that the new year doesn’t bring one, single opportunity to make a resolution. Actually, it brings 365 fresh beginnings to take advantage of! "Every morning we are given new opportunities to learn, try new things, ask new questions, fail, try again, learn, and grow!"
So with that in mind, now how do you feel about the start of 2020? As the year is well underway, maybe you’re headed back to practice, school, and your daily routine. While getting back to our routines may not be particularly exciting, let’s get excited about all the fresh beginnings that come along with each new day! Every morning when we get out of bed, we have a whole day of new opportunities waiting for us!
We’ll never be perfect. We will fail and make mistakes along the way - That’s what makes us human! As you set new goals and reach for new heights, I want to remind you that no matter what obstacles may come in your path and no matter how many times you fall along this journey, you will always be enough. You are always important and you will always be loved no matter what the journey looks like. So every morning when you get out of bed, run towards your goals! Work hard and don’t lose heart. But don’t forget to take a step back every once in a while to reflect on how far you’ve come and enjoy those closest to you. You are so loved.
In your corner,
Bekah
BEKAH GOOD
A Delaware native, Bekah Good studies psychology and plays softball at Arcadia University. In her free time she loves to go for runs along the Delaware Riverfront and be with her family. After graduation, she is most excited to begin her graduate education in counseling and compete in triathlons with her dad.
]]>"Every morning we are given new opportunities to learn, try new things, ask new questions, fail, try again, learn, and grow!"
"We have a fear of failure not for the failure itself, but the fear of what others think about our failures."
Dear Warrior,
I don’t know why you’re here, but I’m so glad you’ve stumbled upon this Fearless Tribe. Maybe it’s because you have been searching for an answer. Maybe you are lost along the journey. Maybe you’re trying to find a way to break through and get your big moment.
Playing softball is HARD. Putting in long hours, grueling practices, early morning workouts, and the grind of playing game after game after game. Whatever you are seeking to find, whether it’s the starting spot, that Varsity jersey, the approval from your parents, it all starts with your mindset.
So what you are really looking for, whether you realize it or not, is approval. See, we have this innate fear inside all of us that if we don’t gain acceptance or approval by society, our worth doesn’t quite measure up. We have a fear of failure not for the failure itself, but the fear of what others think about our failures.
Your fears don’t have to keep you stuck. The fact that you are reading this letter right now means you’re well on your way to transforming how you view life. Fearless Fastpitch was created to help give softball athletes a leg up by focusing on their mindset. I wanted a resource to help build strong, empowered, resilient, fearless warriors.
I have rallied softball players from all over the country, from all different levels and backgrounds, with all different experiences. They are eager to write to you, warrior. Things they wish they would have known sooner, things they have had to learn the hard way, things they have overcome to get where they are now.
We are all on this journey together and I cannot wait for you to walk alongside us as we unveil our weekly letters of Dear Warrior.
Cheering you on always,
Coach AB
COACH AB | AMANDA SCHAEFER
Founder of Fearless Fastpitch. Fueled by coffee and Thai food. Making mental skills fun and easy to learn.
]]>"YOUR FEARS DON'T HAVE TO KEEP YOU STUCK."
If you have found yourself amidst a competitive landscape that we all know surrounds our softball community, you’ve probably faced your fair share of drama. Conflict, anger, fear, betrayal, disappointment, miscommunication are part of being human. We’ve all faced these challenges as adults, so what are we doing to promote a healthy environment for our daughters?
If you're ashamed to admit to yourself that you haven't exactly been the model example for managing your emotions when your buttons are pushed, don't worry. Take a few tips below to create a positive impact in your inner circle and beyond.
You will be surprised at how well these strategies work to combat drama. Surround yourself with like-minded people and you'll find a positive inner circle of people who want to see you succeed in life!
I welcome you to join the Fearless Fam and be a part of a movement. A way of thinking on and off the softball field. It all starts in your mind. You can be FEARLESS!
Cheering you on always,
Coach AB
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Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain. These are dubbed as Dale Carnegie’s 3 C’s. Who would have known years later I would still cherish this book and its teachings. Now it is my mission, my calling, and my passion, to help other young women be the best versions of themselves now and for the future.
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When I was in fifth grade I remember going to the school book fair with my family. A little pink book caught my eye. As you're guessing what this book might hold within its pages, I will caution you as I was not your typical “girly-girl”. This wasn’t an ordinary book, because when I brought it to my dad to buy it for me, his words were, "Really? You think you would like this kind of book?!"
It was How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls by Dale Carnegie & Associates. It was a self-help book, which is written with the intention to help the reader solve a problem or self-improve their life. So you can imagine my father’s curiosity as to why an 11-year-old would want to read such a book. Nevertheless, he bought it for me on one condition, that I would actually read it cover to cover. Challenge accepted!
Chapter one struck my heart like a lightning bolt. Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain. These are dubbed as Dale Carnegie’s 3 C’s.
When we criticize someone we are pointing out a fault in someone else. Think about the last time someone else criticized something about YOU or something YOU did or said? Did it make you feel good? Even worse, It probably triggered negative feelings about the person who said it to you. Now think about the last time you criticized someone else? It could have been something as simple as commenting on their Instagram post, “Your Instagram caption is lame.” OUCH.
Next time you have a thought to criticize someone, ask yourself, is what I am about to say going to help this person? If not, let it wisp away from your mind, never to be uttered out loud.
It’s so easy to complain. We complain about the weather as a conversation starter. “It’s too rainy, too cold, too hot...” We complain about ourselves, “I feel like crap today, my hair looks bad, I’m so busy, exhausted, tired...” We complain about other people, “She’s so loud, annoying, weird...” When we make these comments it’s easy for people to jump on your pity party train. All aboard the hot mess express! When we tell ourselves negative thoughts, it will produce a negative feeling and follow you around day after day. Imagine what your day would look like if you flipped the narrative. “I feel great today!” Part of your mindset is what you tell yourself.
Next time you look in the mirror tell yourself “I’m going to make it a great day today, chances are, you will!” That’s the power of positive thinking!
When we condemn someone we blame them, tell them they are wrong, or judge them. We punish people by “putting them in their place.” People don’t like to be put in a box and I’m guessing you don’t either. So why do we do it? When we only sit with certain people at lunch, or we only invite certain people over to watch a movie, we are telling those not invited that they are not welcome, they are not worthy of our time, love, or friendship.
Next time you plan to hang out with friends, make it a point to extend the invitation, what’s one more person?
So here is my challenge to you, are you ready? Try and keep track of the 3 C’s today. Catch yourself when you make a negative comment and FLIP IT. It will flip your world, I promise.
The acknowledgment at the front of my favorite pink book beautifully states, “to the wonderful young women who will turn these pages and influence the future.” Who would have known years later I would still cherish this book and its teachings. Now it is my mission, my calling, and my passion, to help other young women be the best versions of themselves now and for the future.
I welcome you to join the Fearless Fam and be a part of a movement. A way of thinking on and off the softball field. It all starts in your mind. You can be FEARLESS!
Cheering you on always,
Coach AB
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