Be the Change - 3 Ways to End the Drama
If you have found yourself amidst a competitive landscape that we all know surrounds our softball community, you’ve probably faced your fair share of drama. Conflict, anger, fear, betrayal, disappointment, miscommunication are part of being human. We’ve all faced these challenges as adults, so what are we doing to promote a healthy environment for our daughters?
If you're ashamed to admit to yourself that you haven't exactly been the model example for managing your emotions when your buttons are pushed, don't worry. Take a few tips below to create a positive impact in your inner circle and beyond.
Drama wants a reaction, respond instead.
- A response doesn’t have to be immediate. By reacting with emotionally charged words we have relinquished our power and emotional control. Use the leadership virtue of patience to our advantage to assess a situation, process, and get perspective. We create space to consider the situation and decide the best approach to handle things.
- Silence is a response. Silence means not asking questions that take you deeper into the scenario. It means not agreeing or disagreeing, either with words or body language. Not responding means neutrality and not lending energy to the person or situation. If drama comes into contact with neutrality, it fizzles.
Stick to the facts, Jack.
- An emotionally intelligent person cuts through the drama by only speaking to the facts as they see them and how it affects them. Understanding that miscommunication happens from time to time allows room for clarification. Explain the outcome you're hoping for and ask for other ideas for solutions with an open mind. This typically leads to a constructive discussion that may resolve an ongoing issue to everyone's satisfaction.
- People with emotional intelligence look at all sides of the issue and tap into their feelings and those of others. If I were in that person's shoes, how would I have approached the situation? What might be their reasoning behind the decisions they made? Do I have all the facts to see the whole picture? If not, I do not have enough information to make my own judgment on the situation.
Kill them with kindness, be a positive warrior!
- During a conflict, negative emotions like criticism and blaming is a knee-jerk reaction. To rise above the suffocating dust that kicks up during conflict, promote positive emotions that support big-picture thinking, brainstorming, and creativity. Positivity is a choice.
- As you introduce positivity into future conversations and focus first on non-negative topics, you can train groups to "lay down their weapons," relax, actively listen, and engage in problem-solving respectively.
- Use Dale Carnegie's Three C’s - Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain. If your comment falls under the Three C’s, please keep your mouth shut. If you want less drama in your life, drop your drama at the door.
You will be surprised at how well these strategies work to combat drama. Surround yourself with like-minded people and you'll find a positive inner circle of people who want to see you succeed in life!
I welcome you to join the Fearless Fam and be a part of a movement. A way of thinking on and off the softball field. It all starts in your mind. You can be FEARLESS!
Cheering you on always,
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